The Wall Street Journal reports that “health concerns, aging Baby Boomers’ waning thirst for giant-size sodas and the softening economy are taking the fizz out of the 20-ounce bottle.” (Thom Forbes, May 2, 2008.)

First off, before we even get to the bottle issue, isn’t it refreshing to hear that boomers’ taste in the soft beverage industry is right up there with the recession and health concerns as a deciding factor? You’d never know it, from the youth-oriented ads that most soft beverage companies rely upon, giving the impression that if you’re not a teenager drinking the soda while bungee jumping off a cliff, you’re not of interest to the brand.

Now, to the bottle issue. Coca-Cola Bottling Co. is replacing 20-ounce bottles of a number of its brands and testing 16-ounce bottles and Pepsi Bottling Co. is testing 12-ounce and 16-ounce bottles.

As smart as WSJ and Beverage Digest, from whence some of the stats came, are, I think they missed at least one key factor in boomers’ thirst for smaller bottles…along with a few other pet peeves that I trust will be addressed sooner or later.

1. Loss of muscle strength may not make aging boomers any less useful behind a computer screen—but they might think twice before they lift a bottle off a shelf the size of a bar bell. This would be particularly true of boomer women, for whom all the osteoporosis ads are aimed.
2. And while we’re at it, forgeddabout those home deliveries of bottled water, that leave the hulking mass on the stoop but leave it to the boomer gal to lift it onto its stand. Prediction: invest in faucet water purification systems. It’s going to be a boom(er) market.
3. While we’re on this theme, better think twice about tough-to-twist-off caps and pull-tabs that are a cheaper test for finger joint arthritis than anything administered in the doctor’s office.

Of course, there’s other issues. For instance, making sure the type on the nutritional label is large enough for aging eyes to decipher. But here’s my personal favorite.

4. Environmentally-friendly plastic bottles that cause one to drip liquid down one’s chin. I’m all for the environment—and apparently, these new bottles utilize a great deal less of plastic. That said, aging boomers are part of the environment, too, and unless you want to see midlife and beyond folks sitting down on park benches assuming that the fact that they can no longer consume beverage from a bottle without drenching the front of their shirts means there’s something that’s changed about them—and not the bottle—how about something akin to the cancer warnings. “Boomer Alert: May cause you to drool, causing potential for permanent damage to your self-esteem.”

Carol Orsborn