Okay, so you think you’ve figured out the joke here. You think I’m inspired by the fact that Lisa Nowak, the love-crazed astronaut, drove 900 miles in a diaper so as to save time en route to confronting her rival. But the truth is, I’ve been thinking about this product concept for quite some time. In fact, I’m so convinced it would be a big seller, if I had a million or two to invest, I would.

Truth is, before Nowak’s quest put adult diapers into the headlines in the context of space travel, I was going to call the product “Pit Stoppers.” Now, I think “Nowaky Pants” is kind of catchy. But I’ll stick with Astro Pants because the amount of exposure this concept has gleaned from its moment in the spotlight is priceless.

Oh, you say it won’t catch on? Adults will never use a product that has been ridiculed?

Guess again. I predict they’ll use Astro Pants for the same reason that Nowak did. She did, after all, have a first-hand experience with the product, which is—by the way—used by all astronauts upon take-off into outer space. (“It is the finest and most absorbent diaper ever made…All astronauts wear these diapers and all astronauts experience the need to urinate during this early pre-launch phase…the fact that the kidneys work very hard to maintain the production of about one milliter of urine per minute under normal Earthbound circumstances means that the astronaut's bodies will continue to produce at least a minimum amount of urine. And the fact that the body is oriented in the head-down, legs-up launch position means that, as fluids are pulled upwards by gravity, the body will respond by attempting to eliminate what it detects as a "flood" of fluid in the chest, resulting in even more urine production.”-The National Space Biomedical Research Institute.)

Trust me, call it Astro Pants, and once boomers try it, they’ll be hooked.

Carol Orsborn