We’re always telling clients, prospects and anyone listening that boomers live by life stage as much as actual birthdays. So true. Two weeks ago I visited a cousin who is several years younger than me and much as I love her, I wouldn’t want to live her life. Her life includes early bird dinners, constant telephone conversations, shopping at the condo boutique and … designating herself as her mother’s personal caregiver, climaxing a life long difficult relationship with anger fed martyrdom.
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My life is about working 10 hour days, always full weekends, traveling for work, working out at 5:30 am, planning trips to Mongolia and … never having been my mother’s day-to-day caregiver. Though I was responsible for directing her medical, financial and living arrangements, I knew I could never be the saintly daughter. As long as we could afford it, I chose to have others care for her personal needs. I knew I couldn’t switch off our history of un-love.
All these years I was envious of my cousins who could be stay at home moms, or part time professionals. I see now how much I have to be thankful for. My financial freedom, my liberated lifestyle, the respect of peers and colleagues – it’s great and I am so grateful. I am also thankful that I made the decision that my mother should have a caregiver other than me. She died in peace and I have a life.
Eileen Marcus