I issue this challenge in the same light-hearted spirit that Gene Weingarten all but begged for Sunday in his The Washington Post Magazine column, titled "Good News! Financial pressures aren’t affecting quality of journalism” (sic). Weingarten sets out to offer advice to the newspaper industry on how to cut costs and build circulation in the face of competition from new technologies.

One of his funniest suggestions was to use footnotes as a paper-saving measure by “cramming a lot more type into much smaller spaces.”

And there’s a side-benefit. “No one older than 35” can read the small footnote type, says Weingarten, allowing “us to appeal directly to the most financially desirable (younger) demographic in our circulation area without taking the risk of alienating other, older readers.”

Weingarten gives the example of a humor columnist using a footnote to observe “that it’s always fun to watch some ancient coot try to negotiate the landing…of a fast-moving escalator.” Younger readers squeal with derisive laughter while older people—have not a clue.

Only problem with Weingarten’s plan? Bifocals. So this old coot—who subscribes to no less than three newspapers—invites Gene Weingarten to name the escalator, the date and the time. I’ll be there.

Footnote: At fifty something, it is possible that I am not considered by Weingarten to be an ancient coot. Old coot or not, I am, however, beyond the bounds of the most financially desirable demographic Weingarten refers to, which tends to be 18-39 or charitably the 18-49 privileged by many marketers. When it comes to newspaper circulation, this is ironic, as boomers are the largest consumers of print media, are they not? In terms of attracting advertising revenue, it should be noted that in our recent FH Boom study, we uncovered that 77 per cent of boomers say newspaper articles make an impact on them when purchasing new products. (Advertisers take note!) And in terms of political and social influence, newspaper articles comes in third with boomers, only after recommendations by friends and recognized authorities—and before internet, television or radio. (Humm, won’t there be a lot of political advertising money floating around over the next several years, trying to win the votes of old coots like me for old coots like Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and the like…?) Boomers spend $2.1 trillion/year on consumer goods and services—presumably at least some of this goes for newspaper subscriptions. Gene Weingarten: Name of escalator location. Time. Day. I’ll be there.